


Allow Me to Demonstrate

by adorable_eggplant



Series: Babaganoush [2]
Category: Star Trek: The Original Series
Genre: Crack, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-08-24
Updated: 2011-08-24
Packaged: 2017-10-23 01:01:21
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,115
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/244514
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/adorable_eggplant/pseuds/adorable_eggplant
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Leonard McCoy takes having good sex very seriously.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Allow Me to Demonstrate

**Author's Note:**

> This is set sometime between the episodes “The Galileo Seven” and “Court Martial”. See Note on [‘For More Information, Talk to Your Doctor’](http://archiveofourown.org/works/244508) for more detailed timeline information. Although the two stories are in the same series, neither makes specific reference to the other.

McCoy grabbed the front of Spock’s shirt and fell back onto the bed, pulling the Vulcan down on top of him.  Spock looked mildly surprised for just a moment before shoving his hands inside McCoy’s shirt and resuming the kiss that the sudden move to the bed had interrupted.  McCoy eagerly returned the gesture, working his arms free from between their bodies and reaching up to twine his fingers in Spock’s hair. 

“So tell me, Spock,” he said, breaking away for air but then kissing his way along Spock’s jawline and lightly nipping an earlobe before finishing his sentence, “have you had anal sex with a male human before?”

“McCoy,” Spock replied from somewhere in the vicinity of the doctor’s neck, “I am aware that humans have an unfortunate tendency to experience jealousy, but I assure you—”

“Who said anything about being jealous?  I really don’t give a rat’s ass who you’ve slept with, I just—”

“I fail to see the relevance of a rodent’s posterior to this conversation.”

“What?  No, nothing.  Never mind that.”  McCoy said, flopping his head back onto the pillow.  “Look, I don’t care how many people you have or haven’t had sexual intercourse with, I’m just asking if you’ve done it before.”

“May I ask your reason for requesting this particular piece of information?”

“Because, my pointed-eared friend,”—McCoy traced a finger along the edge of one of Spock’s ears—“if you say ‘yes,’ I’m going to hand you the little bottle in that drawer and tell you to fuck me.  If you say ‘no,’ we should probably go over a couple of computer tapes first and _then_ I’ll hand you the little bottle in that drawer and tell you to fuck me.”

“Logical,” said Spock with a slight nod.

McCoy rolled his eyes.  “Spock, I’m flattered that you think my mental processes are in good working order today, but am I supposed to be handing you a bottle of lubricant or a stylus to take notes with?”

“I have copulated with a human male before, but I must admit that my memories of that particular activity are somewhat lacking in detail.  I am, however, almost entirely certain that there were no data tapes present at the time.”

McCoy grinned.  “Let me guess – had too much chocolate at a party once while you were a cadet at the Academy?”

“I do not believe that I adequately accounted for all possible variables when determining an appropriate amount of chocolate to ingest on that particular occasion.”

“You had no idea that chocolate would get you intoxicated and then you ate an entire bar because it tasted good, didn’t you.”

“That would essentially be an accurate assessment of the situation.”

“Hey, everyone’s had a bit too much to drink before.”  McCoy cupped a hand to Spock’s cheek.  “Besides, you’re cute when you’re pretending not to be embarrassed.”

“As I have told you before, Doctor, Vulcans do not—”

“—experience embarrassment or any other emotion, yeah.  If you say so.  And I suppose you don’t describe yourselves as ‘cute’ very often, either.  Now how about letting me up so I can get those computer tapes?”

Spock rolled over onto his side and stood up, straightening his shirt.  “I realize that my practical experience in this area is somewhat limited, but I was not aware that computer tapes formed a normal part of the human mating ritual.”

“They don’t.” McCoy flipped through the stack of tapes sitting next to his computer terminal.  “And most normal people would probably tell you that this entire conversation makes for pretty terrible pillow talk.  But I’m a doctor and you’re a scientist, and quite frankly I’m going to have more fun tonight if you’re well informed on the subject of the human prostate gland,” he said, holding up the relevant tape.

*          *          *

McCoy switched the computer screen off and leaned back in his chair.  “Any questions?”

“I do not believe so.  Your presentation was commendably thorough.”

“Let’s just say I had some very good motivation.  Now before we get to the hands-on portion, I think we ought to talk a bit about your anatomy, too.  I’ve seen nothing in your medical file or when I’ve treated you that would indicate you’re anything other than fully Vulcan, physically speaking.  Is that correct as far as you know?”

“Yes, I believe it is.  However, my human mother was quite adamant that I not be ‘treated like a laboratory specimen,’ so my DNA was not tested nor my internal arrangement studied as a child beyond what was deemed necessary to ensure my health.”

McCoy chuckled.  “I like your mother already.  But that does mean that we may have to do a bit of our own research.  Now, the books I have on Vulcan anatomy are quite detailed, but they’re also even more utilitarian than that sort of text usually is.  Which means, for instance, that if you’re built like every other Vulcan, I know where your prostate is and I could draw you a nice pretty picture showing exactly how it’s connected to everything else in your body, but I haven’t got a clue if touching it during sex would produce the same sort of sensation as it does in a human.  For that matter, I don’t know if you’re even interested in being on the receiving end of things sometimes or if you’d rather just pitch.”

“‘Pitch’, McCoy?”

“It’s an old sports euphemism.  Pitching and catching.  I assume you can work that one out on your own?”

“Indeed.  Is it customary in human homosexual relationships to divide the two roles equitably?”

“It depends on the couple.  Some people like to take turns, others don’t.”

“I see.  And what is your preference?”

“Oh, no, this one’s up to you, Spock.  I’m not sticking a finger or anything else up your ass unless you very specifically ask me to.”

“A colorful choice of words, perhaps, but I do appreciate their meaning.  I assure you that I have no intention of allowing you to perform any such action against my wishes and further that I know you would not attempt such an act without my permission.”

“Good, I just wanted to make sure we were clear on that.  With all that Vulcan stoicism and aversion to conflict it’s a little hard to tell sometimes if you’re really doing what _you_ want to or if you’re just going with the flow.  Do you want to think about that one a bit?”

“As I presently have no data regarding whether or not ‘catching,’ as you called it, would produce agreeable physical sensations in a Vulcan, there is nothing to analyze and therefore logically additional time alone will not be adequate to reach a decision on the matter.  However I do find your earlier research proposal interesting.”

“In other words, you want to try it and see if you like it.”

“I believe I just said that.”

“Maybe, but my way was a hell of a lot more efficient.”  McCoy stood up and started back toward his sleeping quarters, pulling off his shirt as he went.  “Now get your ass back in my bed.  I enjoy a good theoretical scientific discussion as much as anyone, but I was—and still am—planning on having sex tonight.”

*          *          *

“All right, lubricant and hand towels are where they always are.  As far as hygiene goes, I have surgical gloves and condoms, or a couple of seconds with the portable sonic sanitizer after the fact will also do the trick.”

“As your superior officer I am obligated to point out that removing a wound sanitizer from Sickbay for this sort of personal use is—”

“First of all, Spock, I don’t know if you’ve noticed this, but we’re currently both sitting on my bed completely naked – so don’t even try to pull rank on me.  Secondly, this is the sanitizer from my personal emergency medkit which I keep by the bed anyway in case I have to make a house call in the middle of the night.  Now unless there’s any other Starfleet Regulations that you’d like to quote at me first, I think we’re ready to go.”

“I have no objections to proceeding.”

“Not the most romantic thing a man’s ever said to me, but coming from you it’ll do.  I think it would probably make sense to start with you.  I have a bit more experience than you do, and that way if you hate it we can switch and end with something we know we’ll enjoy.  What do you think?”

“That would seem to be the logical course of action.  Shall I lie down?”

“Yeah.”  McCoy gently kissed Spock’s lips and touched their fingertips together before standing and handing him a pillow.  “Use this to prop up your hips.  That’ll give us a better angle to work with.  Comfortable?”

Spock doubled over the pillow under his head so that he could see McCoy more easily.  “My positioning is adequate.  You may continue.” 

McCoy knelt between Spock’s legs, bottle of lubricant in hand.  “Now, ordinarily I wouldn’t just jump right in like this, but unless you want something different I think we should see if this has any possibility of being enjoyable for you first and then if it looks like it does we’ll back up and do this thing properly.”

“I believe your proposed methodology is scientifically sound.”

McCoy shook his head.  “Wonderful.  Now you just relax and for once I want you to keep talking.  You’re going to have to tell me what feels good.”  He slicked a couple of fingers on his right hand and then curled the first two fingers of his left hand around Spock’s.  He touched a finger to Spock’s opening, making a slight circling motion and slowly increasing the pressure.  “Ready?”

Spock gently stroked McCoy’s left hand.  “You may continue.”

McCoy slowly pressed into Spock.  “Maybe all that Vulcan meditation is good for something, after all.  Your ability to relax on command is rather impressive.”

“Doctor, I—”

“Look, Spock, I know I told you once a while back that I’ m not too particular about what people call me, but unless we’re in Sickbay and doing it for strictly medical reasons, don’t ever call me ‘Doctor’ while I’ve got a finger in your ass, ok?  I know we’re being a little clinical about it at the moment, but this is sex, not a medical exam.”

“Noted, McCoy.”

“Now that’s better.  I’m not in far enough yet to reach your prostate – probably need two fingers for that – but is this doing anything for you?”

“It is a curious if somewhat unremarkable sensation.”

“No pain or discomfort, though?”

“None.  You have been sufficiently careful.  I believe that you could increase your rate of progress without risking injury to me.”

McCoy eased his index finger in and out of Spock a few more times before adding his middle finger.  “Ok, your prostate should be right about…”—he pressed a bit deeper and gently curled his fingers once he found the right spot—“there.  Well?”

“Interesting.  I do not find it to be unpleasant.”

“But you’re not exactly seeing stars, either.”

“I am not, although I cannot fathom why I should be able to do so in a windowless room or what possible relation there could be between the visibility of the stars and the location of my internal organs.”

“Smartass.”  McCoy slid his fingers out.  “Well, if you were human you’d at the very least be well on your way to an erection by now.  Do you want me to keep going or would you rather go ahead and switch places?”

“It seems highly unlikely that I would be able to achieve sexual climax from this particular activity alone.  However, I do not find the physical sensation to be at all unpleasant and I would find it perfectly acceptable if you wish to continue.”

“No, that’s quite all right,” said McCoy, reaching for the sonic sanitizer.  “If it’s all the same to you, I usually prefer getting to giving when it comes to anal sex.  Besides,”—he pulled the pillow out from underneath Spock’s hips and laid down on top of him, straddling his right leg—“I can see right through that calm, collected facade.  You’ve been positively itching to go ever since I first mentioned it.”  Spock opened his mouth to speak but McCoy put a finger to his lips.  “If you’re about to tell me that Vulcans are incapable of experiencing itching, I don’t want to hear about it.”  He moved his fingers to tilt Spock’s face up for a kiss.  “Now, then.”  He found the bottle of lubricant and handed it to Spock.  “Fuck me.”

**Author's Note:**

> 1\. The portable sonic sanitizer doesn’t actually appear anywhere in canon, but it seems reasonable that such a device might exist in a universe with sonic showers.
> 
> 2\. I can't remember how exactly this idea came up in conversation, but as usual this is all S.'s fault. :)


End file.
